Finance and FIRE for single moms part II

Finance and FIRE for single moms part I

Here’s my post-paying-for-kids-college financial status.

• Consumer debt (car/house/credit cards):  $0
• Education debt (student loan @ 1.9% interest):  [$61,500]*
• Emergency fund (4 months living expenses @ 1.5% savings account):  $10,000
• Taxable stock (randomly bought AAPL during the recession): $5,900
• 401k rollover (from old job): $49,000
• 403b (from current job, just started): $6,800
• 457b (government): $0
• 401k in TIAA (from current job): $41,000
• Roth: $0

This is how I’m starting out now at age 42.

*My student loan debt is allegedly supposed to be forgiven in anywhere from 2 -5 years in the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program, which may or may not survive, and may or may not fulfill any of the obligations that both sides (me and the government) agreed to when I signed up for the program. It therefore falls outside my current circle of influence and for right now I’m going to stick to my side of the agreement and see what happens.

I am perfectly happy with my emergency fund and my lack of debt, but clearly there are some categories that I need to dive right into.

Finance and FIRE for single moms part I

I always thought one of the hardest parts of single parenting (real single parenting, with no weekend parent, no child support, no second adult anywhere to be seen) was always having to be “on” emotionally. I’m not made that way. I have a lot of love, a lot of attention, a medium amount of sympathy, a huge amount of understanding, a tiny amount of patience, and an innate sense of ‘live and let live’ hands-off acceptance.  And all of those things (except the tiny patience) are great for parenting. But in the really big, panned-out picture, there would ideally be another set of emotional skills that take over when my patience and sympathy weaknesses were nevertheless absolutely necessary. But there was  no other set of emotional skills available. So when I was faced with a child who needed sympathy and patience over problem solving, I generally failed to administer good parenting. These moments happened ALL THE TIME as the little one was growing up. I never came up with a solution. I just worried, felt guilty, stayed up nights with a stomach ache and lived with a lot of regret. These feelings would dissipate somewhat in later moments when my real skills were needed, and then I’d get to spend a few hours feeling like I was maybe an okay parent after all. Then those positive feelings too would pass.

The second real stressor was money money money. We rarely had any extra, and most of the things I considered “luxuries” in grad school (the possession of a sofa, a lack of noises coming from under the car) I could easily forgo if a good travel deal to Ecuador popped up and our family of two could spend a week anywhere but at home.